Awesome review of terrible (apparently) film!

Laugh out loud funny

He’s done it again. M Night Shyamalan has done it again. Again. Done it. Again. He has given us another film for which the only appropriate expression is stammering, gibbering wonder that anyone can keep making such uncompromisingly terrible movies with such stamina and dedication. This one is a sci-fi drama of such incredible boredom that your synapses will be turned to Bostik, featuring a triple-whammy of abysmal acting, directing and story.

  1. After Earth
  2. Production year: 2013
  3. Directors: M Night Shyamalan
  4. Cast: Jaden Smith, Will Smith
  5. More on this film

It is released in ample time for Father’s Day, and is all about an intergalactic general, unfortunately named Cypher and played with baffling dullness and solemnity by Will Smith. In the role of Cypher’s headstrong, troubled teenage son, Kitai – an army cadet who idolises his old man – the director happens to have cast Will Smith’s son, Jaden Smith. He plays the role throughout with a face like a smacked bum. Earth has been destroyed by climate change, pollution or whatever, and now humans exist in exile on other planets, but a space-flight with dad and son on board crashes on Earth, injuring Cypher badly, and now Kitai must win his respect by recovering a vital distress flare, which he can only do by vanquishing a horrible beast that feeds on human fear. So Kitai must be like his dad: show no fear. Or any emotion. Or any acting talent of any sort.

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