Last weekend, I left a spectacularly-badly run two-day workshop at the halfway point.
And the following morning, some people who don’t know me at all decided it was because we had been about to have a “speak out” about black and ethnic minority issues. They strongly implied as much in a public space.
Fuck them. Fuck them and the horse they rode into town on.
Not because I am not a racist. I grew up in Australia in the 1970s and 1980s. How on earth could I not be a racist? It was in the very air I breathed. It was in the books, in the jokes, in the assumptions. It still is. Through time in America, time in Southern Africa, and time in the UK, it’s always there.
You can struggle against it, you can run around your mental garden plucking up as many foul plants. And you should. And you should just get used to the fact that the very soil from which these plants grow is always going to need further decontamination. (1)
No, fuck them because they were so very very blind to the real power in the room. What’s that power? The old white man telling everyone about gender and race and Most. Of. All. Himself. At length. At. Very. Very. Great. Length. Indeed. And playing games of avuncularitis, and divide and conquer.
And when these people who judged me in my absence had a chance to show a little backbone, to stand up for someone who had publically stated that they were feeling excluded … they chose to adore their new guru instead. Cowards and Fools. Worthless hypocrites. Fuck them.
(1) And here I could link to many posts on the Dwight Towers site – and elsewhere – that I have written about racism, and my (ongoing) struggles with the racism within me. To show what? And I could link to one of my best friends, who is BME and writes about it brilliantly (as well as about many other things). To show what? And this would all add up to “I’m not anti-semitic. Some of my best friends are Jewish.”
To show what? To who? To people so desperate for a leader that they chose to ignore the very principles they heard being proclaimed?
Yeah. Good luck getting me to do that.