It used to work for you. Like the thalidomide survivors who used grit and bloody-mindedness to overcome the prejudice and fears of health care professionals to achieve extraordinary ordinary lives. That determination, to ignore “no” works well, till you hit your sixties, and time catches up with you.
It’s very very sad to see this sort of thing. People who deserve admiration who are now stuck because previous coping strategies are now “maladaptive.”